Title: Breathing in the Impossible
Author: Tinker Siren (Ameths)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Angst, Horror
Breathing in the Impossible
"The saddest thing in the world,
is loving someone who used to love you."
"I wish you weren't my brother! No," his eyes dim, becoming colder, "I wish you never existed." He stomps out of the room, leaving me paralysed. I clutch the bedsheets in my hand tightly, my knuckles turning white. My eyes are wide and my mouth agape.
Silently, almost mechanically, I get up from the bed and walk into the bathroom. Flicking on the light, I shut the door quietly. I face the mirror, staring into my reflection. My hair hangs over my shoulders and my eyes are as bright as ever. The lightning bolt scar on my cheek is red and flamming, like the similar one on my brother's forehead.
I blink. What is it? What is it about me that drives him nuts?
This isn't the first time he's been like this, that he's blown up at me for doing something minor, or what I perceive as minor. Now, I've come to the conclusion that it must be some innate personality trait or part of my appearance that drives him to be this way.
I want-no, need- to know what it is, but the answer is clear. I crouch down to the lower cabinet, pulling out Dorian's silver razor, a birthday gift from dad as a joke, since he doesn't have facial hair. I slide the cabinet shut, straightening myself back up to my unimpressive five foot four. Tilting my head sideways, I twirl the razor in between my fingers.
It's what he wants, I tell myself. Because that's the truth. It came from his lips and reached my eyes, and I know what I heard.
I wish you never existed.
It can't be any clearer.
With delicate ease and fierce quickness, I slash my left wrist. The bone glimmers in the yellow light before blood gushes out and drips freely onto the tiled floor. I repeat the same for my other wrist so not nearly as clean cut and quick. The pain that should have come with the cuts evades me and I fall backwards, dizziness overwhelming me.
I blink slowly, a smile gracing my lips.
On the other side of the bathroom door, I hear the bedroom door open again and his voice rings out. "Harry?" He sounds softer, apologetic. I blink again, slower than the first. The life is already draining away from me.
I call out to him in my mind because he has to see me! He has to know that everything's going to be okay now, everything is going to be alright!
"Dorian," I croak. It's not nearly loud enough, but somehow he manages to walk to the door and open it.
"Harry! Harry! Oh Merlin-Harry!"
He falls onto his knees, leaning over me. For some reason it amuses me to know end, and I find myself laughing hoarsely. He's so different from me. More silent and brooding with short cropped auburn hair and vibrant brown eyes.
"You-you wished-" I try to tell him that his wish came true that what he wanted has come to be and that he should be happy. Instead he's sad, crying even.
"You idiot!" He raises my head, crushing it to his chest.
I close my eyes. I don't want to see him this way. This is what he wanted, he should be happy.
"Why did you do this," he whispers. Salty tears fall on my lips, my closed eyelids, my cheeks..."Why did you-I was going to apol-I didn't mean to-" He stumbles over his words and I find the strength to raise my hand to cheek, my eyes flashing open.
"Because I love you." I speak the sentence clearly and it's a good thing too because that's when everything went dark.